A Final Toast for Strong Woman

I have always strived hard to live my life to the fullest. I rarely say no to anything because I do not want to get to that end of the road asking myself the "what if" question. I don't want to end up in frustration not knowing what the other side of the detour holds. No matter how many impulsive and, most often than not, stupid decisions i made in my life I have learned not to make any regrets. I've always thought so. Always. Until now.

I have always seen my Lola as a very strong woman. Having been widowed at quite an early age, if I may say, and being left with six children, must have been more than tough. My mom has constantly reminded of these ventures in their life and how Lola has always made ends meet. At a very young age, I have built a picture of what a really strong woman Lola Unor is. My mother has bragged and nagged about it all the time. I remember he saying, "Nung panahon namin.... (blah blah), si Lola mo... (blah blah). Kaya tingnan mo kami ngayon? Mararating ba namin to kung hindi dahil sa lola mo?" I have always found it irritating. Irritating until the day I found out she's gone.

I'm one of the apos that Lola took care of. She taught me lot and embarassed me a lot too. She used to say, "Wag ka magtitira ng pagkain sa plato, masama yon..." but then, when she is not looking I would throw the food in the garbage, just like in comedy sit-coms and cartoons. As grew older, she still constantly nags me about a lot of things, "Tulungan mo nga nanay mo sa bahay..." or stuff like, "Magpakababae ka nga, para kang barako kumilos!" I was young. Most of the time, I took her words negatively and just leave grudgingly. But right now, I'd give anything to hear her nag at me again.

When I was in college, I used to live in a dorm. Every Sunday afternoon, I would go to my auntie's house because her daughter and I went to the same University. And it never fails, Lola will always be on the front porch. Then she would smile at me and ask, "Anong ulam niyo?" Before we leave for Los Banos (that was were we attended college), she would say, "Ruzel, may saging nga pala don. Kunin mo na," or "Sayang walang saging." Those were the times when I would ask myself if Lola thinks I'm a monkey. Monkey or not, I will always look for those bananas that keeps on giving me.

As one of her few immediate apos who was gifted with a singing voice, she always requests for me to sing for her. She would offer several bribes from candy to money. Most of the time, I refuse and again walk away to avoid the subject. In rare occasions, when I mustered the guts to sing, I never miss her face in crowd. She appears never to blink or even look away. She just sits with the crowd, never taking her eyes off of me. Smiling. Smiling proudly. Yes. My Lola is one of my most avid fans. I will miss her face in the crowd when I sing. I will her proud smile.

If there is one thing in my life that I am regretting, it's not being able to spend much time with Lola during the last days of her life... And that is something I have to live for the rest of my life...

Once again, even as you depart from us, you have taught me another valuable lesson, Lola. To not take anything for granted. I'm sorry it took me this long to learn it....

Lola Unor did not live a long life. She lived a GREAT long life. A toast to a very strong woman.